“This isn't a game you can beat. It's a true simulation game. There are a million ways to play it, and I absolutely adore it."
Okay, so picture this. You're 12 years old and you're on a vacation with your family. The year is 2008, Minecraft hasn't been invented yet, and you have access to your mom's laptop because you're young and dumb and can't appreciate how much money your parents have spent taking you here. While you're browsing Miniclip or FunBrain, you somehow find your way onto the dan-ball.jp and discover the Powder Game. Something so simple, so rudimentary, yet it ends up wasting your entire vacation as you desperately try to download as many levels as you can before your free Wi-Fi runs out for the day.
Got it? Okay, great. Now flash forward back to 2024. You're an adult. The world has moved on, and you wish you could go back to Mackinac Island and relive what it was like to be so fascinated by something so dumb and simple, yet so complex.
Let me introduce you to WorldBox - God Simulator.
When you open up WorldBox - God Simulator, this is the screen you will be greeted with. An empty, giant, baron world waiting for your benevolent hand to bestow life across it. Of course, it won't look like this for you, or anyone else for that matter, since each world is procedurally generated every time the game is launched or a new world is generated by the player. Don't like the world the game made for you? Maybe you want a different type of world? Easy. Just make a new one.
Now, the first thing you're going to do the first time you boot up WorldBox is one of two things:
A) You're going to immediately go to the destruction tab and bomb the absolute shit out of your newly created world
B) You're going to be a normal fucking person, Jerry, and drop a few humans on the map and see what happens
Look at him, such a happy lil guy.
I have some settings on that will be different to yours, because I play the game differently than you probably will. This is why you can see "Realm of the Oce 1" above our guy over here. The name represents the name of the kingdom, and the 1 represents how many people are in said kingdom. I also have it set up so it shows the kingdom borders, though you can change this to be villages or alliances if you want.
As you watch idly as Kyle (that's what I've decided to name him) work to build up his new settlement in the world, you'll start to wonder what would happen if you add a few more humans on other parts of the map. Surprise surprise, they also start to make their own kingdoms! And what do kingdoms do when they grow? They will eventually want to go to war.
About 30 minutes have passed, and kingdoms have come and gone. They have either died out due to losing battles, or by random mobs that spawn in the different biomes taking them out. It's hitting every note that your little ADHD brain needs it to for you to hype fixate at the world YOU created. You're in love. You think back at the first time you started playing AoE II or SimCity and how much control you had, yet how little you knew about how your troops or Sims really worked.
At some point, though, your curiosity will grow the better of you. Your eyes will wonder over to the destruction tab. When they do, one particular item catches your attention.
The Tsar Bomba
For those of you who are knowledgeable about history, congratulations. It's exactly what you think it is. And yes, it really can destroy an entire empire in the blink of an eye. Even more depending on your brush size... For those of you who are either still in diapers, or didn't pay attention in history class, I'll give you a quick history lesson.
The Tsar Bomba was created by The Soviet Union in 1961 during the cold war in the nuclear arms race. A giant dick measuring contest, if you will. Basically, the United States and the Soviet Union were two children at recess who kept going back and forth about how they could totally blow up the moon, but their nuke went to another school. Until the Tsar Bomba came around. The grand daddy of them all. This bad boy right here? The largest nuclear weapon ever created by mankind. Over 1,570 times more powerful that the bombs the United States dropped over Hiroshima and Nagasaki combined. So yeah, it's big.
Nerd shit aside, you see the Tsar Bomba and want to test it out. You look at your world, realize that Kyle and his kingdom have been wiped out, and this makes your mad. Real mad. You now know your perfect target. Holy Kesyp, you're going to wish you never fucked with my boy. You click on the Tsar Bomba. You change your brush size to really make them hurt. You hover over the Holy Kesyp, and you click. You wait while you hear the bomb dropping And then...
DAMN.
Anyways, this is just one of the millions of different ways you can play WorldBox. Personally, I like to play it with my stream. I create a world and give each of my viewers their own kingdom as they fight each other both in the game and in chat. Depending on how many people are in chat and playing, it can take anywhere from 1 hour to 6. One unlucky viewer, k98kmaster, has participated in these streams 12 times, and has lost every single time. I have no idea why he hasn't quit yet, but damn is it fun watching some first time viewer absolutely crush his hopes and dreams.
I can't recommend WorldBox - God Simulator more, and even if I didn't do it justice, you owe it to yourself to at least check it out. It's on Steam, Google Play, and the App Store.
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